Sai Gang and Bus Captain

I'm sure our parents have, at some point in time-especially when we were young and playful and refused to study/do our homework/ prefered to go and play and have fun.... anything but study- threatened caned advised us that if you don't study well, we will end up as toilet cleaners sanitary officers , road sweeper environmental welfare officers or anything along this line. Well I guess this threat is no longer as effective. At least that's what I think lah ?

You see, our soceity is coming has come to terms with job recreation. Recreate what? Some may ask. Well, you see, we need better educated people to wash toilets because the equipment is getting more and more a pain in the ass advanced. We need proper training for this is no sai gang ( shit job) ... pardon the pun. We need proper toilet training... I mean toilet management training. Hence, the need for a toilet accademy/institute. And since we are a nation of proper paper chaser... a diploma in toilet management? Or a Bachelor's degree in sewage engineering?

Wah.. if clean toilet also need degree ah.. then maybe the premise of " If you don't study hor, wait you next time go wash toilet ah" no longer hold. What about " If you want to wash toilet hor.. you must study hard, if not no chance to wash?".

Assuming if one really wants to go and major in " toilet sanitation" or " Shit Hole(S) management" you still have to take a bus or mrt right? Unless you want to stay in a toilet hostel in toilet school. Or bunk in in some room located in Americanised National University of Singapore ( ANUS)... I'm sure ANUS would welcome students from the Shit School... I mean.. Toilet Institute . They go hand in hand.. paper to paer. ( Left hand only hor)

But if let's say hor.. I don't like to stay in ANUS. One may be a toilet cleaner engineer trainee, but I won't want to be surrounded by sai ( sorry but what's the plural of sai huh ?) or some arsehole 24-7,then I have to take bus right.

Call this discrimination or whatever cheem cheem words that one may insert here, the fact is that not all students get concession rates you know? In a reply in ST online forum, Ms Kathryn Lau, wrote that " The eligibility for student travel concession on public buses and trains is not pegged solely to the student's age.It also depends on the level of academic pursuit and the institutions of enrolment. " .

Even before one leaves school, we are already classified into several catergories. Those that can study hor and go into JC .. you get more concessions lah. Those that decide to go to other places after secondary school, sorry hor.. you neber study JC, so cannot give you concession. So you want cheaper prices hor.. you must go JC lah. Perhaps all the JCs and Pre-U centres in Spore should use this as an advertising tool. Afterall transportation costs in Spore.. very high one leh.

If you no money to pay bus fares hor.. sorry hor.. bus driver captain ( Nabeh... drive bus still got rank one ah... after that.. go where ? Bus Major? ...will ask you to get off one leh.. ( see the post below below about small ger ger having to get off bus becos she didn't have sufficient money?.. by 30 cents only somemore).

SO I guess... you want to study.. must study harder leh.. if not hor.. take bus also must pay more leh. No money take bus.. cannot go school study.... next time can't even wash toilet.. ( do sai gang).

OK FOLKS... I know I'm being bo liao...

anyway.. here's the letter in the forum.

"We refer to Mr Victor Lee Hong Zhi's letter 'JC, poly students in same age group but they pay different fares' (ST Online Forum Sept 27) and thank the reader for sharing his feedback.

The eligibility for student travel concession on public buses and trains is not pegged solely to the student's age.

It also depends on the level of academic pursuit and the institutions of enrolment.

Tertiary student Ez-link cardholders can enjoy privileges through the use of monthly concession passes such as the bus concession pass, train concession pass and the hybrid concession pass.

In Singapore, public bus and train services are provided on a commercial basis. All concessionary fares are cross-subsidised by full-fare paying commuters.


Thus we have to exercise prudence in granting fare concessions beyond the present arrangement so as to avoid any adverse impact on full-fare paying commuters.

The public transport operators have contributed $6.1 million in the form of public transport funds, concessions, waivers and fare caps to help the needy. Of this, $1.15 million from each operator went to the $4.6 million public transport funds.


For more information, the public can call TransitLink Hotline at 1800-CALL ONE (1800-2255 663) or log on to TransitLink website www.transitlink.com.sg.

Kathryn Lau (Ms)
Assistant Corporate Communications Manager
Transit Link Pte Ltd

Tenjewberrymuds !

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.

This has been nominated for the best email of 2005.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."

G : "You're very welcome."

Wah Lau.. Like that Also can

Sept 20, 2005
Bus driver left 12-year-old girl stranded because she didn't have enough fare

My 12-year-old daughter takes bus service No. 13 at bus-stop B16 Upper East Coast Road and gets off at bus-stop B04 Changi Road to head for home at Block 842, Sims Avenue after her mathematics tuition.

She had lost her EZlink card and was told to pay $1 for the journey home the first time she took a bus. She had been taking this service for the past nine months and had been paying $1 each time she took it.

On Sept 10, she boarded bus number 13 at bus-stop B16 Upper East Coast Road at around 2pm. She was told by the driver that she had to pay $1.30 for the journey home. Unfortunately, she did not bring extra money and told the driver.

The driver dropped her off at bus-stop B02 Marine Terrace. Stranded with no money, my daughter had to walk all the way home. Fortunately, she was sensible enough to follow the main road and find her way back.

This experience has not only traumatised by daughter who now fears taking the public bus alone, it has also shaken my family's trust and confidence in our public bus service.

My husband and I are appalled that the bus driver had dropped my daughter far from home just for 30 cents without any regard for her safety.

Why do bus-drivers quote different fares to my daughter for the same distance travelled? Is it not true that the fare that a commuter pays is determined by the distance travelled and not is left to the discretion of the bus-driver?

Is this a case of victimising a young and naive girl? Was the 30 cents more important to the driver than the safety of a twelve-year-old girl? In a job where one deals with the public, couldn't the bus driver have exercised better judgement?

I am sure there are many parents like us who allow our children to take public transport alone, believing that the safety of our children will not be jeopardised at any cost.

I would like the Singapore Bus Service to answer my queries and educate their drivers so as to avoid a mishap in future and risk losing the confidence of parents like us.

M. Sainava Buang (Mdm)

All Part of the Plan

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. You need to build another Ark and have 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans. You have 6 months to build the Ark before I start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they wouldn't listen.

Then I had problems getting the wood. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save an endangered species of bandicoot. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the bandicoots - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me for confining wild animals against their will. They said it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the local council ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they had conducted an Environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many indigenous people I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. The Immigration department is checking the status of most of the people who want to work and I've even had a letter from Amanda Vanstone asking about my ethnic background!

The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, the Taxation department has seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Michael Moore

Good ol' Moore...